Recently, I was throwing away old stuff, a lot of handwritten notes. Besides all the university transcripts, I discovered an old note to myself, which I wrote on my 24th birthday. It was a ‘Katya, wake up!’ letter to myself, listing the reasons why I had to change, with a clear set of things to act on, as well as how to measure success. To my great surprise and disappointment, the note was still relevant, and I could have written it today.
Why didn’t I manage to act on my priorities and resolutions?
One theory could be that these were fake priorities, and hence I never followed through. On that line of thought, I was almost tricked by my mind into listing things I did achieve since my 24th birthday. But finally, I had to admit, I just did not act in line with what mattered most to me, and hence, I keep writing resolutions which are more than 50% almost copy&paste from previous years. My disappointment grew into anger and, finally, determination: this year, everything will be different! But then, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.’ Maybe it was time to think deeper.
By definition, priorities are a small set of things you want to focus on – not a laundry list
Will power and energy are limited resources, and achieving priorities or changing behaviors one by one will be likely easier and hence more successful that a 180-degree change in all aspects of your life. I took my January resolution list and started pruning.
Ultimately, achieving priorities should lead to you becoming the person you envision to be in 5-10 years
Otherwise, why would you act on them? Time is limited, too. Being clear on your vision of your future self will enable defining the right set of priorities instead of a random collection of nice-to-have personality traits and abilities. If you do not want to become a soccer star, why should you invest your off-work time into perfecting your soccer skills, compared to, for example, spending time with your loved ones? I adapted my priorities and went back to a laundry list, then pruned again, iterated, structured, and finally, was satisfied.
Progress and change are real work
And thus, they need a work plan. I think of myself as a ‘project,’ – with the respective Gantt chart, milestones as well as interventions for my ‘change’ priorities. Simple things like role models or a smart incentive system for yourself can help a lot. Suddenly, I (or ‘project Katya’) became a set of yellow pad slides.
Equipped this way, I am ready to execute. But as in work, I find it essential to keep in mind that you are not obliged to implement just because there is a work plan. If your vision of yourself changes profoundly, you need to be open to adapt.
Dear Rat, I am ready for you – please come in!
Happy CNY,
Katya