I love living in Singapore. The sun is shining, people are friendly, it’s super-safe – pure bliss and beauty. 

However, recently, I started noticing a weird thing. People tend to walk in big groups, and they block the entire walkway. When you are behind them, well, they cannot see you. No need to be sad, just try to figure out how to overtake that slowly moving group. The strange thing happens when you are walking towards them. They clearly see you. But they don’t make any effort to make space. No matter how wide the walkway is. Nope. You have only the two options left: get off the sidewalk or stop and wait for them to pass. And of course, a third one: bump into them.

First, I thought I must be imagining things, and they probably are so immersed in their conversations that they do not notice me. But then I experienced the same thing happening also with one single person blocking the entire walkway. She or he would continue walking towards me, in the middle of the sidewalk, leaving too little space on both sides for me to pass and not even intending to move. 

That started driving me crazy. Essentially, either they were indeed not paying attention at all, or they intentionally didn’t move. I lost my faith in people being inherently nice – and decided that they must be doing this on purpose. 

You want to play the chicken game* with me? Who swerves? I can do that. And honestly, worst case you’ll bump into me, but on ‘my’ side of the street (left in Singapore), and I don’t mind. 

So, I stopped giving way. I just walked on, staring the stranger right into the eyes as she or he was approaching me. A curious thing happened – they started to move! Always last minute, almost bumping into me, but they moved. And we would pass each other smoothly. It WAS the chicken game indeed. Evaluating their option to swerve (rightly! as I was always walking on my, correct side of the sidewalk) or bump into me, they gave in and chose the non-contact option. 

Turns out, it’s still a jungle out here and a fight for who is stronger. Maybe it’s the hot and humid climate? 

Then, recently, I went to Europe. And noticed the same thing. How could I have been so blind to this before? 

I guess people are all the same, no matter where. Europe, Asia, USA, anywhere. And it doesn’t matter and how beautiful or grey it is around us. Each single moment seems to be a fight, and everyone wants to win, badly. Even if it’s as stupid as allowing someone else to pass by you.

I still opt for choosing my battles wisely. Thus, next time, I might just let the stranger win the game and be happy about her or his small victory. I, in return, will save my mental energy for later. 

Take care,
Katya

* Google search result: “A chicken game is a game theory set up that typically describes two players heading toward each other. If the players continue on the same path, they bump into each other; if one swerves out of the way and other doesn’t, the ‘swerver’ “loses” and is labeled the chicken, while the second, implicitly braver player, wins.”