As I just learned, ‘lamb on the barbie’ is the thing to have on Australia Day, January 26, and you’d better celebrate in style. Australian style, of course, since you don’t want to be called un-Australian and be sent to an ‘infinite cultural exile.’ Although, having lamb on the barbie for the rest of your life with other un-Australians can’t be too bad, can it? Make up your mind with this excellent ad from Lamb Australia, brought to you by About Meat & Livestock Australia. Excellent marketing.
Australia Day also marks the end of the Christmas & summer holidays, parties, and year-end reflections. Sometimes it’s the same; the lines are blurry.
So: how well am I doing on my ‘become Australian mission?’ Note: I am using here my own ‘definition’ of Australian-ism, just some curious things I noticed, and massively overgeneralized. The real Australian attributes are much deeper rooted – Australians are just an amazing, kind, social, innovative, and adventurous group of people (another oversimplification!!)
Where I made progress
Bondi is for tourists and expats; real Australians live elsewhere
Admittedly, I moved to Bondi at the worst time possible, as winter was about to start in June. This year was even worse due to La Nina with too much rain and too little sun. I tried hard to enjoy coastal walks and the excellent brunch and dinner options. However, after doing Bondi to Coogee every weekend and sometimes multiple times per day, hearing more French, Spanish, and Portuguese around me than English, and having too many yoga and pilates options but too few gym-gyms (and barely any 24/7), I had to escape. I did regret my choice shortly when visiting during the break, but I discovered outside pools and am cured now.
Disclaimer: downtown isn’t where real Australians live, either. But, boy, I’m loving it!
Oversized insects don’t freak me out anymore (as much)
Recently, at a house party, engaged in a lively late-night conversation in the kitchen amid brightly-colored drinks and delicious Vietnamese catering, we observed how a giant cockroach flew in and landed in the middle of our circle. Unbothered, the conversation continued, and the cockroach’s beautiful, visibly confused (blinded by the light) dance simply added flavor and something interesting to watch. Finally, one of the girls ended the pirouette performance of our star dancer and helped it to a new life in a better world.
I’m ok; I did not freak out. However, I did wonder (freak out) a little bit when I woke up recently with a curiously beautiful spider hanging from the ceiling above my bed. I’m getting there.
SPF 50+. And no, I don’t want to sit in the sun
Unthinkable if you had met me half a year ago, but my dermatologist back in Hamburg would be very proud of me!! I LOVE the sunshine, and I was always tanned. It was a simple formula – tan slowly, avoid the 11 am – 3 pm sun, and maybe you don’t even need any sunscreen. Now, I only drop the sunscreen for my 6 am run. Anything after 8 am burns on your skin; at lunchtime, you just want to hide; and later in the afternoon, you’re already so sticky from all that greasy sunscreen that you prefer a shower and an escape from the sun.
This one is actually un-Australian. They must use even higher SPF, as they keep hanging out in the sun and seem to magically avoid sunburn. A mystery! Will I crack it?
Also, my newly discovered outside pools have shade, and I can enjoy the sun after 6 pm. Problem solved!
What I am still working on
We have already moved into the un-Australian territory, so let me share my un-Australian sins that I am starting to accept (partially).
Real mineral water on tap is a luxury. Evian is a valid replacement
Sydney has very high-quality water. But it’s ’empty’ from a minerals perspective. My water kettle is still as clean and shiny as I bought it. Growing up in Hamburg and Zurich, I am used to all the minerals crystalizing in your kettle and the limescale whenever you spill some water. I miss the taste of sweet water showering after an intense run. On the other hand, what if this water is the secret ingredient for excellent Australian coffee?
Woolies (and many other retailers) sells Evian! And thanks to my impulsive purchase of a ‘prime’ subscription during my Covid episode and immense hunger, I now just order Evian in bulk. My small luxury. (Go ahead and lynch me for my environmental footprint, I’m confident it’s set off by not owning a car, see next)
Public transport, pushbike, or walking – I won’t give up!
In Switzerland, we are spoiled by the public transport system (outstanding coverage, optimal frequency, reliably on time), the biking lanes infrastructure, the car drivers’ consideration, and the well-timed traffic lights. Sydney is a different story, and my Bondi to CBD commute (just 7 km) often took 45-60 min due to traffic lights timing and the need to be extra careful when biking right next to the cars on a 2- or 3-lane road. So Sydney-siders rightly complain and get a car instead. Or uber everywhere, which is way more affordable in Sydney than in Zurich. I keep rebelling. I got access to end-of-trip facilities and diligently bike to work. Well, I used to – living in the city means I can walk. Such a treat.
Note: the end-of-trip facilities are the best I have ever seen (!!!). Fully equipped with many showers, hairdryers (and hair straighteners (!)), and towels. I am seriously puzzled why so few people use them. Another mystery!
Australian English is very different
I’m really trying my best to suppress the American ‘z’, understand and use Australian expressions and slang, and get used to the Australian accent. However, magical forces are making my life difficult. A lot is technology-related (it’s always IT’s fault!!): my MS software just flips back to default American spelling, and Apple has trouble changing my location; I gave up. Also, American spelling is more efficient: if you can use fewer letters for the same word, how could you resist? (Yes, you might not want to ask Swiss-Germans for beauty or fashion advice). And finally, just as I believe that I’m getting there, I’m back to googling new phrases and words, and concentrating really hard to understand that new accent of a non-Sydney-sider (this 50+ slang explanation video really helped and I was grateful for the subtitles in this video). Great way to learn about Australian culture, by the way, so I’m not complaining.
I’m doing my best, really!! For example, this blog is written in American English, and I just signed up for French language classes. Uh-oh!! Jokes aside – this is easier than learning Swiss-German for a Hamburg-sider, so I’ll manage.
So?
Am I failing on my ‘become Australian mission?’ Maybe. However, if I think back to the lamb ad, I’m doing alright, actually. All I need is to get my new friends (thank you, Australia, for being so social and open!) together and have a barbie. We will be just fine.
Have a great start to your New Year and your missions!!
Katia